We all respond to difficult situations and setbacks in unique ways. Some, more than others, seem to “bounce back” from these events quickly. Resilience is the process that allows a person to adapt well in the face of adversity or stress. Adapting well doesn’t mean that a person doesn’t experience the significant emotional responses that are expected in reaction to work struggles, financial stressors or relationship problems. However, the resilient individual may be better equipped to deal with these emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them or resorting to unhealthy coping strategies, such as substance abuse.
Resilience is made up of a combination of factors. Each of these factors are things that a person can actively work on in order to build their ability to recover from difficulty. Resilience is not a trait that a person either has or does not have. Anybody can learn and develop certain behaviours, actions and thoughts to increase their personal resilience. Here are some of the key things you can do which will help you through your next crisis or setback:
Making and maintaining strong and positive relationships with others is an important component of resilience. Being able to reach out for support is more effective than trying to cope with a stressful situation alone. The positive effects of connecting with others also extends past your circle of family and friends; why not try to form connections with like-minded people by joining a hobby group or volunteering for a cause you believe in?
Physical health and mental health go hand in hand. Keeping fit, eating well and getting enough sleep are all ways that a person can physically boost their resilience to stressful events.
The way we view negative life events can impact the way we respond to them. Seeing such events and crises as being temporary and subject to our own influence, rather than permanent and unchangeable, can have a powerful influence on our reactions to them.
Being able to experience both negative and positive emotions, even when faced with a really difficult or upsetting situation, is a sign of resilience. It’s important to acknowledge negative emotions when something bad happens, and to allow yourself to feel those emotions. It’s also important to try to see any positive aspects of a situation. If this is something that you find difficult to do, it can be helpful to pay attention to the reflexive thoughts you experience in reaction to negative situations. Challenge these thoughts. If you find yourself using negative, permanent words, like “never” (“I never do well”) or “always” (“I always make things worse”), make a point of acknowledging the times that you have done well. Even if you can think of only one instance, that one instance is more than “never”!
By:
Tess O’Leary
Assistant Psychologist
