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Maintaining a Long-Term Relationship

People often wonder, what is the secret to maintaining a long-term relationship? Most people want to settle down with the “right” person for the rest of their lives but, in reality, maintaining a long-term relationship takes a lot of work and compromise. So, what’s the guiding principle to maintaining a long-term healthy relationship? Have a read of the below article to find out!

One myth that must be dispelled before going forward is that good relationships are easy. Relationships are hard work, no matter how good they appear to a person on the outside. The grass may seem greener in other people’s relationships but that is mostly because they don’t talk about all the work that goes into maintaining their relationships. Relationships need constant work, compromise and attention.

3 C’s to maintaining a long-term relationship

• Compromise – Relationships involve a bidirectional process of giving and taking. Learning to be able to compromise is key in relationships. If you find yourself becoming resentful that you are giving too much to your relationship and not getting much in return, it’s important to learn how to compromise.
• Communicate – Open and honest communication is vital in any relationship. Learning to speak openly about how you are feeling will help you address any issues in your relationship. Without open communication in a relationship, mountains can often be built out of molehills.
• Choose your battles carefully – It can seem tempting to pick up on problems you may have with the little annoying things your partner does on a daily basis, but is it really worth it? Making a conscious effort to choose your battles is very important in maintaining a long -term relationship.

A key to maintaining a long-term relationship is to keep things interesting. This could mean making the time to schedule a weekly date night where you spend time together, just the two of you. This doesn’t have to be an elaborate date each week. It could be something as simple as slipping out to grab a coffee together for an hour, or going for an evening meal out.

People often say that their relationship is strong because they were friends before they became partners. This is often the case for lots of couples. Finding someone who you can laugh with, cry with and share what’s on your mind is very important in relationships. You should feel comfortable around the person and be able to have fun with them if your relationship is going to last over the years.

It’s important not to expect perfection from your partner. As we mentioned above, it often seems that the grass can be greener on the other side. However, just because we think another person in a different couple is so romantic and so kind and thoughtful, that doesn’t mean that your partner isn’t. Romance can come in various forms, for some people it’s a trip away for the weekend, for others it’s simply being brought breakfast in bed. Don’t expect your partner to be perfect because perfection doesn’t exist, you should accept them for who they are.

With this in mind, it is also important to realise that you don’t have to be perfect either. We often put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be the perfect partner but the sooner we accept our own flaws we will be able to accept others. The key to maintaining a long-term relationship is to be yourself – don’t try to change who you are to suit your partner, there is a reason why they fell in love with you in the first place, so why change it?

Written by Nicola Keane, Assistant Psychologist