We are all familiar with that nagging inner voice that attacks us on different areas of our life, relationships, careers, our mood, psychological state, appearance, to name a few. For example: “I’m stupid,” “I’m not attractive,” “I’ll never be successful,” “He doesn’t really care about me,” “I’m better off on my own,”. Have you ever wondered, WHERE is this coming from? WHY am I thinking like this? HOW can I manage the critical inner voice?
While a certain amount of worry is natural, how do we know when how much of our concern and doubt is rational and how much is our critical inner voice? Even though at times our daily experiences appear to influence the critical inner voice for the worst, it does not suddenly transpire in adulthood. Our critical inner voice is entrenched in early life experiences and is strengthened throughout our life into adulthood. These thoughts are internalised and makes negative elucidations of daily occurrences based in negative events that happened in the past.
Confronting the critic inner voice can be very hard. However, in order to take control and stop it from affecting your life, you must first become mindful of what your inner voice is saying. That inner voice is not a reflection of your reality. It is a negative viewpoint and attitude about yourself, that has formed from early life experiences that you have adopted as your point of view.
Write down these thoughts in two forms. First, as the first person (I) for example, “I’m stupid,” and then as the second person (You), for example, “You’re stupid”. Doing this will help you realise the hostility behind the statements as well as coming from a different point of view.
After this done, you should answer your inner voice back. It is important for you to make rational statements about yourself and is true about your world around you. For example, “I may struggle at times, but I am smart in many ways”. The point of this exercise is to help you be nicer and have a better attitude of yourself.
Once you have identified the areas in your life where you are most critical, you can begin to change yourself. The more you are able to recognise your critical voice and act against it, the easier it will be to not let it affect your life. Therefore, helping you become yourself and letting you achieve the life you want free from imaginary restrictions.
Written by Alannagh Kelly